A Better Relationship

 I’ve been a “Christian” since 2008.

At the time I was under the impression that “Christians" were nothing but hypocrites who followed an outdated religion which had no place for me.

I wanted answers not religion.

I had tried and was kicked out of several Alpha Courses. Then I attended one more.

That Alpha course was the moment when things “clicked”.

Although I still had lots of unanswered questions the mystery of God was finally revealed.

There was nothing “magical” within it. A straight up answer of “I don’t know but you can find out" allowed me to find a comfortable stance in knowing that God can reveal answers the closer to Him you get but be prepared because you could reach old age and not know everything.

I understood the mystery.

There was, of course, some mysterious and “magical” moments; moments that cemented my relationship with Him, moments that were nothing but God speaking to me and moments of feeling the Holy Spirit.

But I had to start that relationship to know that.

The further in I got the more I learned. The more I learned the more questions I had. The more questions I had the more I fell in love with the mystery.

That was the relationship.

I used to write a blog that was solely for the journey I was on for Him. I wrote solely about things I was learning, things that I learnt and things that I still had questions about.

Somewhere along the road my life changed (as I’m sure it does for everyone) and in that changing my writing changed.

I still carried on with my faith just not in writing. I attend a church that feels more like family than church. I’m part of the community which really makes me feel loved and loved by God.

Last year I said that I would restart blogging about my faith. It felt right. Yet, for some reason I didn’t.

I could easily blame last year. The dreaded 2020 that stopped the whole world in its steps. Between home educating 4 children with interchanging and complex special educational needs, coping and surviving with my own physical and mental health problems it would be understandable to anyone why I didn’t do it.

That would be a lie.

I didn’t do it because I was being lazy. I chose to do other things like binge watching Netflix and playing games on my phone.

I had so many things I could write about but didn’t.

As the world disconnected and found ways to reconnect I didn’t. I stayed disconnected.

That was fine by me. I’ve been a solitary hermit most of my life. It was an easy space to fall back in to.

However, my relationship with God had gone quiet around the same time as I disconnected.

I was doing my normal church and faith activities but maybe not to my fullest.

They always say that God doesn’t move in the relationship and if you’re disconnected then it is your own fault.

I don’t agree with that. God CAN go quiet. It doesn’t mean He’s moved and really doesn’t mean He’s disconnected. It means He needs to be quiet.

I don’t know why but usually it means I’ve/We’ve got to do something.

I’ve spent 2020 disconnecting and just because I didn’t disconnect from God doesn’t mean I was maintaining the relationship.

I’ve decided that this year will be different.

I was given a study “Bible in one year" for Christmas. I didn’t think it was necessary that I go through it. I had pretty much the exact one as an Audio book. I had already told myself I was breaking that habit and I listened, with my partner to day 1.

Then today I sat in my “War Room". I sat and I decided that I needed to take the bible in with me to read.

Everything that I read was coming through differently. Same bible verses but a different message was standing out.

All it was doing was shouting at me about my relationship with God.

In Psalms 1v1-6 we learnt about those who DELIGHT in their relationship with God.

In Matthew 1v1-25 we read and learn the type of Man Joseph was; a man who followed the law and had a trusting relationship with God. We also see that he is from the line of the great biblical people who also had great relationships with God like Abraham, Ruth, David and Solomon.

Finally, in Genesis 1v1-2v17 we see that God made this earth, made everything in it and made man and woman. Why? So we/they could have that relationship with Him.

Well the message was loud and clear. I need to be actively in this relationship. Like any relationship it can only be maintained if both parties are working on it.

So, whilst I carry on working on this relationship and working within the mystery I will start writing about it too.

So welcome to A Note from Him.